Just a little disappointing

So I finished that page, but I am NOT happy with it, which is really disappointing as it was supposed to be the sort of page I could look back on and pick myself up if I was feeling low. Except… now I don’t even want to look at it at all. Figures.

The page started with how I was feeling sunday night after Koby left. I was feeling really down, and just… lonely. Only it wasn’t registering in my mind as “I miss Koby.” It was translating as “Sigh. As usual, no one is there. I wish someone cared.” And then suddenly, I was flabbergasted. For over a week, I was literally INUNDATED with love. Countless hugs, sweet and uplifting words, little gifts, a really big gift, sitting with me through my back pain– basically, more than I could possibly quantify. My thoughts were entirely illogical. So… this page was a reminder to myself about the difference between missing people and being unloved. Only, as I said, I hate how it turned out. I wonder now if I should paint over it and redo it.

It started out so well too. I used a background that was previously prepared, and when I laid the lined paper and scrapbook paper on it, it looked lovely. But then the paper didn’t stay white like I planned, and the lettering is awful, and then I kept adding, and it only got worse. So… I don’t know what I’m going to do now.

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About cassandramarie

Cassandra is a 24 year old soon-to-be teacher, used-to-be poet, and when-I-can mixed-media artist; a bookish little nerd with her head in the clouds and the Lord's Word in her heart. View all posts by cassandramarie

One response to “Just a little disappointing

  • Monica

    What a wonderful thing to be loved.

    As for your page – it’s the PROCESS that matters. You needed to express this and you did. Goal achieved, soul balanced. 😉

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